He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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