The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
