He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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