Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
