Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
