All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
