i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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