my mouth tastes like poor choices
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
