My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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