and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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