We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
