I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
as a side note pls kill me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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