The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
