I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
