I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
A bitchslap is in order.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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