He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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