At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
