There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
