Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
