dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
