Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
