I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
