we should wear snuggies to the strip club
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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