Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
