As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
