READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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