im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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