i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
