Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
