Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
