So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
