OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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