She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
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just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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