That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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