I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
