when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize