I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
