You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
