she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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