I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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