I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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