he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
