we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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