and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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