I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
