we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
