So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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