the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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