Ambien. No doubt about it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
