Don't you send me to vm
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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