wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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