Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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