Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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