shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
