Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
