Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Plan B is the new Plan A
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize