Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
