you turned your livingroom into a bong?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
