Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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