Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Houston, we have a squirter
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
