Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
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Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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