He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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