Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
